The Physicality of Texas Greetings

Turkish Greeting: 1 kiss on each cheek (or rather touching cheek to cheek)

Texas Greeting: bearhug

Turkish sign of companionship: walking arm in arm

Texas sign of companionship: piggy back ride; surprise cuddle attack; tussle the hair; backhand

Source of my pondering: Hug after an exam. There was a calculus exam going on in a classroom just before my class was supposed to start. One girl finished earlier than her friend and was waiting outside of the classroom. When the friend walked out, they both looked at each other with that "worst exam ever" expression and then embraced each other. This is when I realized how long it'd been since I'd seen two people just hugging.

For as intimate as Turkish greetings are and as delightful as I find it to walk arm in arm down Istiklal Caddesi, they still lack the physicality that distinguishes the greetings I've become accustomed to in Austin. The difference, I think, is that here the interactions between friends feel much more polite. There is an element of raw emotion in holding a friend's body against yours that seems to be lost in touching cheek to cheek. When I think about the kind of hugs that Key gives (bearhug with a lift, a twirl, sometimes a toss onto the nearest piece of furniture) there's nothing polite or formal about it. Sometimes I have to hold on for dear life because it seems like he's going to drop me. All pretensions are stripped away in this moment of embrace. Whole ideas can be communicated in some of these bearhugs that you could never really put into words. Perhaps it's some strange remnant of the Old West rustic bawdiness and small vocabularies. Who knows? Regardless, it's something that I feel is missing in my life right now.

Same distinction goes for dancing. I think the system here is a bit better. Guy and a girl dance together, but really more of across from each other and very seldom come in contact. There's a bubble of personal space like the "room for Jesus" the Catholic schools used to lecture us about. To me, it's more like dancing in front of someone rather than dancing with someone. No arms around each other even during slow-dances unless you're either goofing off to a cheesy song or seriously involved with the person. At least this is as much as I've been able to observe. When Flo Rider's "Low" came on the other night I slipped back into American mode for a half a chorus. I quickly corrected myself. In Austin, it would have been just two friends dancing. No big deal. Here, I could sort of tell that it wasn't the case. Perhaps it's part of the politeness. Perhaps it's something else.